May You Find Comfort Here
by Everything-In-Focus-94
Summary: Gabriel and Castiel's relationship has always been special, the former helping the latter with the hardest moments of his life and being there for him as a brother should be. Which makes it all the harder when he leaves, does he have reasons. Small spoilers for The Song Remains the Same 5x13, but mainly AU. No slash, rated for Gabriel's sweary mouth while angry and gruesome images


May You Find Comfort Here.

The human race; the hairless ape in Balthazar's eyes, the mud monkeys in Lucifers and one of the most incredible of God's creations in Castiel and Gabriel's. With complex emotions, understanding that of heartache, sorrow and encompassing all of the above pain; they were one of the few races in the universe that could even begin to comprehend the pain in which an angel would feel when their wings would manifest.

In simple terms, the first time for an angel was torture. They would come of age suddenly without warning mid teenage years, a rush of air, hormones and flushed cheeks and they would manifest. Brilliant coloured feathers would erupt from their back, tearing through their grace, feeding from their very being and sucking their life force. Apart from their death and initial bonding of two souls, the creation or breaking of their wings would be the first and most painful moment in a life that would most likely be marred by physical and emotional pain.

Gabriel would never forget the moment that his own wings burst into being, the brilliant golden structures that marked him as an archangel erupting from back feathers flying haphazard brushing down the suddenly very solid being that before then had been nothing more than a whirl of grace and power in the basic shape of his true vessel. He remembered the scream of pain that had forced itself from his throat, the arms by his older brother Michael enveloping him, hugging the younger, shaking angel tightly with his own silvery white wings, whispering comforting words in his ear as was his duty as the key host of Heaven. He'd held Gabriel tightly until the shaking had subsided and the gaping wounds through which his wings had erupted had begun to heal, tenderly wiping the sweat from the teenage fledglings face and telling him how brave he'd been.

Since that day however, Michael had become more involved with fulfilling God's order in matters of war, and all other duties became less and less important to him, eventually leaving terrified fledglings to manifest on their own some of their graces even ripping apart and leaving them shallow shells of the angels they had been destined to be. After watching a young female fledgling's light leave her, having to gently close her brilliant silver but unseeing eyes and initiating many a ferocious argument with Michael over the matter; Gabriel swore that no fledgling would ever be alone in that terrifying time again.

Castiel was a fledgling which had caught him eye from the moment that he had blasted into existence in a bang of silvery white smoke. From within the smoke a tiny baby with a shock of black hair and massive navy blue eyes had waddled on legs too long for it's short, chubby body, taking his first steps directly towards the archangel before tripping into his arms. He'd cooed when Gabriel had brushed his golden feathers over the black tufts of hair, reaching chubby fingers upwards to try and touch the soft material that glistened above him.

'Hey Cassie' he'd murmured at the baby angel as he fixed Gabriel with a intense and unfaltering stare, before giggling and reaching back to try and grab at feathers that had moved to cover the archangels similarly golden eyes and face. Castiel cooed, tilting his head in confusing as he wondered where his big brother had gone, before he appeared in a flurry of movement and feathers.

'Malsee un pamed' he cooed, his face breaking into a massive grin. After squeaking in alarm, the look of confusion appeared on the minutes old angel, his eyes peering inquisitively, penetrating deeper into Gabriel's mind that one of his age should be able to accomplish. His head tilted, and despite himself Gabriel found his finger grasped in one chubby hand and his wings wrapped around the two of them as they wandered back to the nursery, communicating telepathically.

Castiel and Gabriel had little to do with one another until the moment in which Castiel's grace manifested, one being the archangel of the highest order- third in command of Heaven after Lucifer's departure and the former little more than an angelic sentry, trained to fight and most likely die for their cause. However, when a roar of anguish had ripped from the Angel of Thursday's throat, Gabriel had been at his side in a heartbeat, enclosing his wings around Castiel; encompassing the younger angel in soft down and feathers, and brushing a hand down his back- healing as his own wings appeared for the first time.

'Who are you? I have never seen you in the garrison before.' Castiel had said in the pain subsiding for a moment, using all his remaining energy to push the other angel away with a short, sharp push. Another wave of pain crashed through him, and his eyes slammed shut- his back arching as blood, flesh and bone pushed its way through the translucent skin of his partially formed body.

'I'm Gabriel.' The archangel whispered in his ear softly, smoothing the blood-slicked forming feathers into place as others continued to appear at Castiel's shoulder blades. He felt the younger angel stiffen in his grasp and he murmured to relax otherwise it would increase the pain further.

'You're the one who named me- you're in my record.' Castiel whispered gently, tears beginning to flow from his eyes, mixing with the blood that bubbled in his nose, leaving pink streaks down his boyish face. Gabriel hummed in confirmation, stroking the final feathers into place; setting them as the bloody wounds began to finally heal. They remained locked in that position until finally, soft pink skin replaced them.

Slowly, and stiffly the younger angel turned in his grasp, facing the archangel who had helped him. Tears, sweat and blood had poured from every orifice; staining his face and making his eyes glisten with the water that remained in them. Slowly, he placed his head on Gabriel's shoulder and once more, as memories of the pain wracked through him, tears began to flow.

Over his shoulder, Gabriel regarded the angel's wings that he had been blessed with, a gasp catching on his throat as he did so. Grey wings had appeared at his back, the stormy grey feathers woven with brilliant blacks as dark as Lucifer's himself, brilliant silvers like Michaels and bright blues which matched the sea blue eyes that God had gifted to him. They were wings that would normally be bestowed upon an archangel, a large wingspan even when crumpled to the floor and shiny like every inch of his grace had been poured into them.

Gabriel's fingers moved through the feathers, marvelling at the soft feeling before settling on the angels head. He laid his chin against Castiel's head and continued to massage the pain away.

'You are destined for great things Cassie' he whispered gently, planting a kiss on the younger angel's forehead.

Gabriel morphs into existence after Castiel collapses in 1978, his blood bubbling at his lips from the broken wing bone piercing deep within his body. Fixing the Winchesters with a stony stare and snapping orders at them to stop Anna, he lifted the younger angel as he had done as a fledgling transporting the two of them to the nearest hotel room.

He willed a damp towel into existence, and fixed himself on wiping the congealed and drying blood from the Angels lips, before placing two fingers to his head. He jolted into consciousness, his eyes narrowing as he saw Gabriel hovering over him eyes closed and his golden wings filling the room which hummed with healing energy.

Castiel groaned as he felt splintered bone shift, moving from within his internal organs and fixing back into place in the mess that his wings had been left in. Apart from their meeting a few months previously, he hadn't seen the archangel in the 1000 years since his wings had appeared, the moment when he'd needed his older brother and only chance at a mentor the most.

Gabriel's hands lowered and he met Castiel's wide eyed and unrelenting look; anger brewing beneath the surface. The former trickster sighed, and he crouched his wings curling around him.

'Why did you fake your death.' Castiel all but hissed heaving himself and his heavy wings into a sitting position. ' The whole of heaven grieved you, I was all but executed for being implicated in your disappearance- Michael...' A snort of indignation erupted from Gabriel's throat and he shook his head, his gaze falling to the white sheets both angels sat upon.

'Michael- Michael, fucking Michael. What makes him so fucking special- he's nothing but a coward.' He suddenly roared, his face contorting in anger. Castiel's vessels lungs inhaled sharply.

'With our father gone, Michael is first in command. Gabriel what you say is treason.' He whispered quietly. Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

'And rebelling from heaven _isn't_ little brother?' he said, a smirk sliding onto his face. Jimmy's face blushed brilliant red from Castiel's embarrassment, and his twirled a piece of sheet between his fingers. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

'You see, we're on the same side Cassie.' Gabriel finished. The younger angel looked sadly down at his hands, whispering words that would have been almost silent to a human.

'Fight with you?' the archangel repeated, scoffing as he did so. 'Cassie, the reason I left heaven was to get away from you.' Bright blue eyes flashed upwards and a frown littered across the face that was scarily similar to Castiel's angelic appearance. Gabriel sighed.

'No, not like that.' another sigh escaped his lips. 'Michael told me of a prophecy on the day you came of age. If I remained your mentor, you would become the one who would bring heaven to its knees. He threatened to kill you if I remained.'

Castiel shook his head. 'No.. No Michael- wouldn't' 'Michael has always done the thing that best helped him improve his position- a single angel with wings as threatening as yours?' Gabriel snapped, stopping the younger angel's arguments in his tracks. Golden eyes flew up to meet blue.

'Look into my eyes brother- you always know when a lie crosses my lips' he said gently. Castiel peered into his very soul.

'I find what you say to be true, but there's more- more you don't want to tell me.' Castiel's gaze intensified, widening as he found his answer. 'This prophecy, it spoke of your death. You will die because you protected me.' Castiel whispered finally, his throat seizing as Gabriel's head bowed.

'Yes. Within a few months if I remember after a millennia of booze, sweets and women. Lucifer will fight me; and he will kill me.' He fixed Castiel with a look, and grasped his hands.

'When he does, you must not attempt to stop it. He will destroy you without mercy. You promise me that Castiel.' He gripped the angels hands tightly, his golden irises practically burning into Castiel's, forcing him to nod in agreement.

'Why did you agree to die to protect me'. Castiel said slowly, refusing to meet Gabriel's intense stare, simply staring at their entwined hands. Gabriel chortled.

'Have you not been with the one and only Sam and Dean Winchester these last year?' He morphed his facial expression into that which resembled Dean so closely it took all of Castiel's effort not to laugh. 'Your my brother' he said simply, before placing his fingers to the Angel of Thursdays forehead, making him keel backwards onto the feathery pillows.

Castiel did not awake until the archangel had gone. He peered around the room, stretching sore wings which were draped across the two beds, before remembering the exchange that had occurred in the hours before. Scanning his eyes across his structures he saw a single golden feather glistening among his similar black ones, with that it was time to let the tears fall.

Wrapping his own wings and arms around him Castiel sobbed, imagining the embrace that Gabriel had gifted him with upon entering adulthood, rocking backwards and forwards as he cried for the brother that had been removed from his life, and upon finding him would soon be lost once more.


End file.
